What's Wrong With Me?

nothing, actually.

this morning was a nice morning for a revelation.

long story short: ex-boyfriend who never wanted to broadcast our relationship now has a new beau and he can't help but broadcast his love for her. evidence: facebook. every status is about her. there are pictures of her and him. and here's the kicker: he actually has _______ is in a relationship with ________.

now, i had to take a deep breath and analyze the sudden change in behavior.

questions that came to mind: what's wrong with me? why wasn't I enough? how come he wasn't proud to have me as his girlfriend?
revelatory moment: he has issues. he had issues months before we started dating (it was actually the first thing i noticed about him: his issues). he has issues with his family. he had issues with his past relationships. he had issues with me that i tried to love through.

all this to say: ain't nuthin wrong wit me. (GBK style) haha

this is not to say that i am perfect and that i don't have my own issues, but believe me...some people have more issues than others. and i am not judging our fellow brothers and sisters with more issues.

i'm just saying...i dodged a major bullet.

some may call me a hater. i call myself a realist (well..i force myself to be a realist because at heart, i am an idealist)

and let me put a few disclaimers out there:
a. he may have found Jesus between our break up and his new beau
b. which means the mention of Jesus doesn't annoy him, make him close down, cause him to have a fit...anymore
c. his new beau may be at a place where his issues and her issues work well together and thus, they are helping each other grow

the cynic in me...(again, i force myself to be a cynic because at heart, i am an optimist)...says: i doubt any one of these disclaimers are true.

but then again...who really knows? life has a a way of making the impossible happen. (did i say the impossible? that was mean, wasn't it? sorry.)

as uncle walt says: thank God for revelation.

:)